The Oregon Faith Report - Faith News from Oregon

Your review would be laughable if it wasn’t so lackluster in its assessment, narrow-minded in its judgment and almost completely without merit because you didn’t bother to watch the entire film. In case you haven’t bothered to explore Mr. Burton’s catalog of films, most of his work is of a dark and disturbing nature even when it’s based on children’s books like ALICE and CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. (I won’t ask if you bothered to review that film. I’m guessing you gave it just as much forethought as tossing a chocolate wrapper into the garbage.) In fact, SLEEPY HOLLOW actually benefited from a more unsettling adaptation by Mr. Burton since that story itself was a ghostly tale from long ago and well respected by many. If you also bothered to read the original material (and indeed of most children’s literature of that time and of most times for that matter), you would’ve known that ALICE is a dark and disturbing work that’s not all Disney warm and cheeriness. Indeed, unnerving undertones are as much a part of children’s films as are the original of some of the most beloved fantasy tales. To present such a review of this fashion does no one any service, especially those who would like to see the film and know what to be wary of in case there are small children in the room. And for the record, Disney is a business that has to cater to ALL audiences, not just the ones who prefer their fantasy films to be all soft and cuddy with all the scary creatures mostly defanged and brighten up so the dashing hero can dispatch them easily enough and ride off into the sunset with a happy song. Some fantasy works can not be presented properly unless they are done with its darkness intact and its disturbing elements left alone for all to see. Sometimes, the audience prefers a good scare and unease so they can stay a little sane in this world.

Personally, this site would’ve been better off if this review wasn’t even posted since you didn’t bother to watch the entire work and your hasty judgment shows your complete disregard of the reviewing process and of film appreciation (or depreciation in this case) in general. Someone else should’ve done this review and if I was the one in charge of this site, I’d have you do something else more worthy of your ‘talents’…like testing food condiments. You are a poor reviewer, a poor writer and a poor appreciatant of art and media in general. (Though, to be fair, most art and media these days is a pale shadow of previous works of days gone by. Course, a lot of people have a rosy view of the past.) You would do better to review flavored tea than do another film review where you walked out of the theater or turned off the DVD player in disgust. A reviewer, a proper reviewer, stays to watch the whole show and THEN expresses their distaste of the material. Even Rodger Ebert sat through some of the worst cesspools of cinema. If you can’t do that for this film, you should leave it to someone else.

I doubt this opinion will sway you or anyone else, but if one person decides to find another reviewer who bothers to watch through a film they can’t stand and gives a decently detailed account on why they didn’t like the piece…well, that’s my personal satisfication. I won’t wish you well in your future reviews because I don’t lie about my disgust over half-done measure and I can’t stomach those who only bother to watch something halfway before throwing out the disc. In for a penny, in for the entire show including trailers and end credits! Live by that motto. Your readers may thank you for that…or perhaps not.

My article is not a movie review but a movie warning. There is a big difference.

For the record I enjoyed the Willy Wonka remake because I thought it held a wonderful spirit of family and it was not as dark as Alice. If it was, the Umpa Loompas would have had fangs.

Dear Beaver Believer,

I thought it appropriate to point out that it was Disney who did the twisting of the tails in the first place. You family friendly fairy tales brought to you in technicolor animation by the Disney Corp. were, in fact, quite dark before Disney worked his magic. Perhaps, your time would be better spent picking up the book before making your assessment that the Disney way is the only way.